you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize