no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
