you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
