i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
