Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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