Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
