It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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