i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
