OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We are two peas in an std pod
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
