yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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