you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
