no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
