I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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