We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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