farters have to be the big spoon...
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
