found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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