proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
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