Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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