nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize