Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I queefed so loud it echoed.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
