im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
