whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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