I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Found the puke drawer
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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