But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
