Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
