Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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