Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
