Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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