i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
