the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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