So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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