Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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