Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
