Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
