I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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