How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
