i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
