if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
