Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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