Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
