i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
