You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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