mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
