i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
