Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
