OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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