Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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