Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I'm just crazy horny about you
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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