I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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