Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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