oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
