What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
