Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
