Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
