I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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