what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
