dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
