I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
