I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
