So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
