hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
