You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
