Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
