so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
