Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
