Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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