she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
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